Thursday, May 21, 2015

The Waiting Game: Linking Military Life and Christianity

SrA Valencia and his wife Jessica at his 1st homecoming of their marriage.
(Photo curtesy of www.carlymoonimages.com)

What does a military spouse and a Christian have in common? We are both waiting for our bridegroom to return. I am about through my 7th year of being a military spouse and if there is one thing I know, it is that my husband will be gone…a lot. For some of you it is your wife, brother, son, daughter. Whoever it is you have played the waiting game before. Waiting for a letter, phone call, expected return date, their actual return date, the 2nd, 5th, and 10th first kiss. When my husband first leaves I put on my happy face and fake it. I fake it until I believe it. I am fine, don’t lose it right here in the BX, be strong for your son, don’t let your husband see how hard it is on you. I am not in anyway taking the credit for a deployment. The service member has to put on the same face. They don’t have a chance to lose it. They must hold it together and for that I give my husband and all else serving my utmost respect.

We are referred to as Jesus’s bride and he is our bridegroom. In the parable of the 10 virgins (Matthew 25) they are waiting for the return of their bridegroom. Five turn out to be foolish and miss the wedding while the remaining 5 are wise and were able to attend the wedding feast. What an amazing visual for the military spouse! This is what we do all the time! We are waiting for our husbands to come, waiting to be reunited.

Here are some similarities of the military spouse and a Christian:

1.     Remain Faithful! Being faithful to your spouse is a must during deployment. It can be hard. Sadly, some spouses cannot endure this trial and waiting and they fill the missing gap with another where their spouse should be. There is temptation all around us to not stay faithful. We live in a culture where being monogamous in a marriage is not a top priority.

We are to have no other idols before our Lord God.  Until His return we are to remain faithful to Him and keep his commands. He loves us and deeply wants us to remain faithful. Remaining faithful to Jesus means to stay away from sin and temptation. If we do slip and break that trust we must come to our bridegroom and confess and ask for forgiveness. The amazing thing is that He will always forgive and welcome us back with open arms.


2.     Communicate! Communication varies from each deployment and TDY (a ‘short’ deployment). Sometimes we are able to Skype daily while others an email here and there must suffice. No matter the circumstances we always do our best to communicate with one another. We share our feelings, talk about our hopes, dreams, and plans for the future, talk about our current life, ask for advice, and anything else to fill the gaps of time we are missing out on. Communication is what kept us on track with each other. It kept our love alive. We actually always grow closer during his absence because of our communication while he is away.

We must be in constant communication with Jesus. He may not physically be with us but he is always there to communicate through prayer. We can say it out loud, type it, write it, or even think it and He hears it. He loves it when we communicate with Him. It will make out relationship stronger by doing so.



3.     Show Your Love! From my years of supporting spouses on the home front of a deployment I have noticed I learn a great deal about their spouse during that time. Topic of conversation somehow always evolves to their spouse, sharing stories about their recent conversations, funny, and memorable times. You name it, I hear it. We tend to talk about the one we love more when he/she is not with us. I have spent evenings with friends before just sharing stories about our husbands. It makes it feel like they are closer to us.

It should be the same about Jesus. Right before Jesus ascends into Heaven after his resurrection he gave us all a command: “GO to all of the world and preach the gospel to every person.” (Mark 16:15) What does that sound like to you? Talk all about Him until He returns! Share stories of Him, teach people of His personality! This is what us spouses do while our loved one is gone.

No matter what branch of service or how long the service member has been gone there is one thing I can guarantee you about each deployment: When he/she returns your marriage will either be stressed or it will be stronger.  It takes a while to get used to your loved one being home. You have had your own schedule and way of living set without him/her during their absence and it can be hard to go back to the way things were.

(Funny story: When my husband returned from his 1st tour in Iraq he kept getting aggravated because I wouldn’t stop talk to our dog who never responded back to me. I was asking my dog for his opinion, ask him what he wanted for supper, etc. I had just gotten to used to talking to my dog for 8 months that it was hard to get out of that habit.)

When Jesus returns for His bride how will your marriage take off? Will it be on shaky ground or will it be even stronger? Take a look at how you are living your life right now and think about it as if you are the spouse on the home front and Jesus is the military member away. Would He approve of our behavior or how you are talking about him (or if you are talking him?) Unfortunately I have seen some spouses during a deployment where you would not even know they were married if you didn’t know them. How do you think that makes the loved one away feel?

Too often we put Jesus in that situation. Would others around you even know you belong to Christ? Sure, you might have your personal communication with Him but how do people know you are His?


“Love the Lord your God with all your and will all your soul and with all you strength.” Deuteronomy 6:5

What are ways you keep communication and show your love either to Christ or your military hero?
Two of our 'homeocomings' in 2011 and 2013. We surprised our son but he was obviously too into snack time to care. :)

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