As I sit here writing I am cuddled up in my husband's chair with my house shoes and robe (all wonderful Christmas gifts from my hubby I might add, perfect for this chilly England winter), watching my son dance around in his pull-up, watching Paw Patrol. Normally we are up bright and early with a list of things to do for the day, places to go, people to see, and food to eat. However, today is different...my schedule is FREE, with the exception of planning dinner. Normally when I have a day like this I try to cram it with as many things as I can. I need to make a new recipe that takes 3 hours to make, create a failed Pinterest craft with my son, scrub the baseboards, and other things just to take up my time. I decide now is a good day to give my dog a bath, haircut, and cut his nail.Let me tell you a bit about myself. I come from a very hard working family. My dad has his own construction business and my mother worked full-time while going to night school to obtain her degree so she could be a teacher. Once she became a teacher she went back to school, so more night and summer classes, to receive her Masters. I had been working side jobs since I was 13. I was a straight A student and a year round athlete. You can get the picture that my life growing up was very busy. I was always on the go and a hard work ethic was instilled in me at a young age. Even when I attended college I had multiple jobs and sports. Even throughout my pregnancy I worked the whole time and was a full time student.
To make a long story short...When my son was 1 1/2 I realized it was not me who raised him, the day care did. So I made a very hard decision to be a stay at home mom. The first few months were hard...very hard. I cried...a lot...thinking I had made the wrong decision and then that would lead to more tears because it made me feel like a failure of a mom for wanting to work. I would see these other moms who loved their life as a stay at home mom and they had so much fun playing and crafting with their child. I was just trying to make it through the day...and then my husband deployed. Oh! Let me tell you...that was hard. I was playing the perfect military wife on the outside, not letting people know, esp my husband, that I was dying on the inside. I packed my day with even more things while he was gone. But where did that leave room for the one thing I needed the most of, God?
There is a wonderful word. In fact, it has grown to become my favorite word...Solitude. The definition of solitude is the state or situation of being alone. There is something amazing about solitude. It is the state we can best hear God. We can think, read, and pray. God gives us revelations; He heals us, uplifts us, refills us during that time. I may not be in total solitude today since I have my kiddo but my schedule is clear so I do not have to think about anything today. My mind is open for God to stuff whatever He wants in there.
It may be hard for some people to be still throughout the day, and just as I typed that I witnessed my son dump all of the cherries from Hi Ho Cherry-O into his cereal bowl. UGH! But find that 5 minutes. Correction: MAKE 5 minutes to be still before for the Lord, solitude. Eventually those 5 minutes will turn into 10, and 10 into 20, and so on until it becomes a necessity in your life. I had to train myself to be still and now I need that time everyday. Maybe it requires you to wake up 15 minutes early or stay up 15 minutes late or not getting that last load of dishes put away. It will be alright...trust me.
Instead of planning out the day or creating a mental shopping list while in the shower, be still instead. Make that your time of solitude. God knows it can be hard for parents to find solitude, Not just stay at home mommies, but all parents. And because He knows that He meets us where we are. He meets us in our spit-up stained, too tired to remember you dog's name state. Correction, He is always with us. "...For the Lord is with you. He will never leave you or forsake you." Deut 31:6 He doesn't require us to get dressed in our best and to go somewhere to find God and talk to him. He is always with us. He is with us in the 3 minutes you space out while stirring supper on the stove, make that your solitude; He is with you the 20 seconds you are awake before you crash on your bed at night, make that you solitude. Whatever it may be, do it intentionally and turn it into your solitude. There is no time requirement on solitude. No minimum or maximum. Just do it and watch how you life will change after.
"But you, when you pray, go into your inner room and close your door and pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you." Matthew 6:6
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